Firestarter

There goes my list of silly love songs. Have fun and be safe!

I am quoting these lines from the infamous Muntazer al-Zaidi, the Iraqui journalist who hurled his shoes at President George W. Bush during a press conference. But this entry has nothing to do with it. Admittedly, I pretty much screwed up this year based on my personal assessment. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. And this year was no exception. Before we all get tipsy and immersed with the New Year shindig, I am dishing out some of my tactics for the coming year, a sort of a “resolution list”. No whining and ranting as you please. Here it goes:

1. Time to leave some excess baggage behind.-Travel light this year. Some friends of mine would know this, but if you want to get into the details, you will have to spend a coffee afternoon for some chat. Your treat, of course.

2. Be health-conscious- I noticed how my weight surged and it follows that my blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels and everything else that needed some careful monitoring are affected too. I am a bit symptomatic and I think I need to visit a physician more frequently. Plus the stress- “the daily grind”. I intend to watch my diet (that means lowering intake of fats and carbs) to have a more active lifestyle, and to develop a positive outlook. I am preserving my sanity as well.

3. Pursue some favorite hobbies and interests- The things I have been aching to do will finally come to fruition. Embarking on photography courses or culinary arts, playing an instrument, writing, and partying are on top of my list. Play, in short. The year 2009 will be prospective and I am making it great by having a great deal of propensity for these.

4. Make people happy- This year a lot of people were pissed off with my arrogant, egotistical, and insensitive, plus belligerent stance. Yes I do apologize for my misconduct. I will be better. I will not assure you of anything but I will just put everything in proper perspective.

5. Get involved in socio-civic activities- Volunteer or be an advocate of a worthy cause aimed at providing aid for humanitarian reasons. With the world going haywire, it is our responsibility to raise some level of awareness.

6. Travel more often.- The joy and beauty that is- ofknowing people, being one with the nature, and discovering yourself. Hitch a ride and off we go! Palawan, Cebu, Dumaguete, Mindanao region and whoa, abroad? Here I come!

7. Have an overhaul or “make-over.” Yes, I am doing it. Hopefully I am not overdoing it. Just having fun by embracing a brand-new identity which is far from what I have been used to.

8. Pray- I have no more excuses now. I will get intimate with my deeper spirituality. I have wasted hours and days harboring resentment and I don’t wish to struggle with them anymore. My transformation is accompanied with God’s grace to which I am grateful for.

9. Invest- My friends and I convene on a regular basis for some “prospects”. They say that if you really want to earn big, invest on something. I think were on the right timing since we have been employees for quite some time, and that we should expand our horizons and let alone be our own bosses. It will definitely take some risks but everything starts that way.

10. Live. Learn. Love.- This sounds like cliché but it has some truth to it. Live- in a simple, manageable way: my rules and my time. To live is what I took for granted this year. Be happy-in whatever undertaking. I’ll take it easy and will not push myself anymore. And to love- the most important undertaking. It is something that keeps us going and makes the world go round. Love is all we need. All we need is love. Love lifts us up where we belong. Oh wait, am I sounding like Ewan Mc Gregor in Moulin Rouge? Before it gets there, I will put it to a halt. Se a Vida E, thats the way life is!

Have a Happy new year everyone! Cheers to a new year and a new you! Eine Gutes Neues Jahr! There, I dig my Deutsch 101 course just to send you out that greeting, hehe

Christmas time. The supposedly “happiest” time of the year. Allow me to do my usual top 10, now about ways on how you can make this season brighter and happier. Much like the 12 days of christmas
1. Its when people come together and share a great time.
Reunions everywhere. Now that prices have increased, the minimum amount set for exchange gifts would be 300 pesos. It used to be 100-150. What else can you buy for 150 pesos nowadays? Even the picture frames and candles zoomed up its amount! Plus you get to see the people you hate to see. Your former crush who dumped you. Your classmate who outlasted you in the amazing race to the honor’s list. Or that tito who borrowed your shirt last christmas that he has not returned yet. Not to mention your boring cousins who devour everything that is served in the table. Then comes the question-and-answer portion, like how-have-you-been, or what-do-you-do-for-a-living. Can’t think of a better answer? Two words: WORLD PEACE. Second question: You can choose between A) A sipsip-ebak specialist or  B) an embalsamador. Or C) an ENTEMOLOGIST. (If somebody asks what the heck is that, show him/her an earthworm while he/she is munching on some food) How about for christmas presentations? I have some suggestions: re-enactment of the Iraqi journalist-throwing-a shoe-on-Bush (the one who would be role-playing Bush must be quick to avoid the flying shoe and should be in a state of shock before the second shoe is relased) or the march of the penguins in north pole amidst the global warming phenomenon. Its gonna be one hell of a great party!

2. Get lazy. Good Lord, this year our break is much, much longer. What can you do in a span of two weeks? Be silly watching re-runs on HBO, Cinemax, and Star. Get updated with the US recession or witness the Joc-Joc Bolante fertilizer scam senate hearing and count how many times he would be charged with contempt. Time to go to your favorite holiday destinations-the Cote d Azur, the Aspen lodge via the safest transportation available-Asian Spirit and MV Princess of the Sea. How about a one-day cruise on the stinking Pasig River?  Relax, sleep late and wake up late. Go to an amusement park and get ready to be suspended high up in the air until it stops and somebody has to rescue you. Pursue a hobby, like drinking left over booze on a noon watching Eat Bulaga or Wowowee! until you throw up with Willie’s canned laughter antics. Throw away your books or just keep them in the closet. Then you can cram during the last days of vacation! A sound advice from somebody who is in the academe haha

3. Panic-buying at the malls as if there would be a calamity. I am a keen observer and I am so struck with how people opt for imported, signature labels than the ones we produce locally. One day I went to Marks and Spencer and oh boy, it was as if its the end of the world! They are like ants saving for a rainy day except that they are lined for bags of biscuits, bottles of wines, lotions, bath essentials. Come on, it pays to have that red, starry, paper bags that bear the logo of M & S  (Must Spend). Who says that the Philippines is likely to suffer an economic crisis, when swarms of people flock the malls and afford to spend enormously? There have been reports that Unlimited SMS will be down on the 24th and 25th due to signal interruptions. These have not been confirmed yet. So if I were you I would make it Unlitxt 80 that will last for 5 days insted of the usual 20. But wait, don’t panic! Relax, its the most wonderful time of the year, DUH!

4. The dawn masses or the misa de gallo. Since the Philippines is a Catholic nation we have been accustomed attending the traditional simbang gabi. Legend has it that when you complete the eight-day sacrifice you can make a wish. Well, simbang gabi is a wish granted for the scumbags, thieves, and pick-pockets. Of course, people attending the dawn mass would be flaunting their new outfits and in-season get-ups, something that attracts bad vibes. In an instant those valuable items will be gone as soon as they wake up from a peaceful,  heavenly, sleep.

5.Give gifts. It is a must that you give gifts or else, you are out-of-season. Choose where you shall have it. Will it be in Divisoria or in SM? Rockwell? What gifts are you buying? Consumable? Small stuffs? Gift certificates? Well, its all up to you. As long as you have a gift. Period. Dispel the belief that Santa Claus is the one who is making the list and checking it twice for he is just a naughty bearded stalker who “sees you when you’re sleeping, knows when you are awake” Its not Santa, its the HSBC’s, PNB, BPI, payrolls, even GMA (thanks to the 10k bonus on government employeses) who give gifts..

6.The festive, hedonic, buffet table. We love adorning our Christmas table with scrumptious dishes. Of course the usual jamon, the quezo, the fruits, and other festive delights. Oh yes, and should I say that the risk of having myocardial infarction (heart attack) or stroke (brain attack) is higher in these months. More so, an increase in number of people who might be at risk for bulimia nervosa, a binge-purging type of an eating disorder where people would binge, end up in a forced vomit, and would eat up again. (The one Princess Diana of Wales had when she was still alive). This is a good news for those who are promoting medical tourism! So go ahead, indulge! Live as if it your last for tomorrow never comes. Literally.

7. People making lists buying special gifts taking time to be kind to one and all. People you don’t know smile and nod hello. This is a warning. Don’t believe everything you hear. Be careful because you never know who you may bump into. It could be Marian Rivera or Osama Bin Laden. Beware!

8. The gush of air that is Christmas. They say that the cold wind we experience is from Siberia. There was even a time when Baguio reached 6 degrees. Whoa! Must be raining ice and hailstorms over there. So what to do on a cold Christmas day? Drink!! Drink beer, sake, wine, vodka, alcohol, (be careful to distinguish between what is consumable and not).They say that if you drink, you should be consuming anything fatty. Of course your belly need something to be digested. Hmm.I knew it, this entry would eventually end up in number 6. I  wish that somebody would invent a device that would suck up all the air and pump it during the scorching summer heatwave. That would be fun!

9. Happy people everywhere. Not exactly. I could imagine the horror in those European countries which barely receives sunlight. It could result to Seasonal Affective Disorder due to light deficiency causing depression and higher suicidal rates. How? A certain hormone in our body called melatonin is responsible for the alerting mechanism during our waking cycle. In short, melatonin keeps us going. It is stimulated by sunlight, that is why it is easy for us to get up in the morning. Now if there is minimal sunlight, it follows that production of melatonin will be decreased. So when there is an imbalance of this hormone, we tend to be sluggish and feel as if we have less energy. This leads to depression and SADly, for some who do not have good defense mechanism, they could commit suicide. Therefore, Christmas is not a happy season after all..

10. Despite all what has happened to us throughout the year, we’re still alive and we are standing. That is one thing we have to thank God for. More years to come, more allowances, more oil price hikes, more Cha-Cha and Con-ass issues. But believe me, we all have good reasons to laugh. As Ely and the debunked E-heads put it “A little lovin and some fruits to bake, life is a piece of cake”.

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year to all!

This is my quick fix. A one day off from work. Yeah sure, somebody might just tell me I just violated some law or what. Crap. But this is what I know: me, myself, the couch, the sun, the food, the box set, and the solitary confinement that is home.

I don’t know why I should say this to you. My life sucks. If I could go back to that time when everything I had to do was practically nothing. Being a free-spirited person that I am, I was eventually led to a life that was beyond the confines of my zone. I had to re-do things and keep up with the flow, eventually losing a part of who I am.

I propose a rather inventive way of making things much simpler following my own pace. Read it: MY OWN. I have been driving myself crazy with tons of work, with so little time to spend with my family, friends, and to my own self. One day of bumming and horsing around and nothing to do. Crazy? No.The kind of antidote- a special cure for my haphazard and super-structured lifestyle. Something like these:

1. Having free time for myself. More time to spend on clothes, personal stuffs, like this Mac Book that has been my eye-candy. More time for my inner spirituality and meditation, exploring the unknown side of me, the creative self, that is. More time to learn the HOW TO’s: Lemme see, there’s the guitar, the car, the drums, the tennis racket, the skateboard, the sugar and spice and everything nice. Oh, and by the way, the passport, yeah!

2. Having free time to sample tracks from MySpace, and record bars, downloading tracks form various bands. Writing stories about them, the superfluous details, the reviews, and what-not. Watching gigs more frequently, taking snapshots with people in the music industry, and going home with some good feel and vibes, like the way I did before. All for the love of music. I miss the band scene, honestly.

3. Having free time to write about my musings on particular subjects of interest-arts, food, current events, philosophy, beliefs. I don’t even watch the news and read the papers for God’s sake. Not just my own selfish, personal insights. I think I have compiled more blog entires back in 2006. You can check out my friendster account.

4. Having free time to breeze through the malls or any place of interest with a sole intent of killing time.

5. Having free time to sleep all day. Especially Sundays.

6. Having free time to attend important family events and get-togethers. I can’t believe I missed out an important one and traded sleep as a cure for muscle spasms. More time please to do my IADL’s at home, doing the dishes, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, things like that.

7. Having time to experiment in the kitchen and dishing out my gastronomic, scrumptious delights. Speaking of which, I am really interested in taking up culinary arts, specifically baking, so I can make use of our oven and even trade recipes with my sister. She bakes the most awesome chocolate chip cookies. Not from scratch though. Haha. Okay. One thing at a time. I will pursue this when I am free from my current obligation. 
And the list of “Having Free Time” goes on…..

Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees” is playing on the background. My definitive sound for consolation when I am in a rather pensive or as you would like it, “senti” mode. Thanks Thom and to the rest of the gang. And my Bloc Party. I miss hanging out with you!

I will do all these, if I have time.

But for now, I need to get throgh my never-ending pile of To-Do list.

Its been a while…

Yes. I am kind of alexithymic. Which means I don’t know how I feel. Whether Iam happy or sad. Er. Does that qualify me as a potential candidate for a psychiatric testing? Hope not.

Let me see..Yeah toxicity is given. And it gets to the point that you get tired of it. When you get tired of something, you quit it. But quitting does not make you a loser right? They say you should find your bliss. But look what I found. Really. My ideas are flying. Now, am I making a point here? Am I being tangential? Circumstantial? I can’t even tell the difference.

Earlier, I found myself lying on the couch watching TV for almost four hours. Amidst the humidity. Alone. Thinking. Sleeping in between. Took a while to drag me out of the carpet Im lying in.
Is this the kind of life that I want? I miss it. But I cant afford it. Too unproductive but I love being lazy. That’s how I was before..Ask me now. Everything has to be structured. I lost my spontaneity.I long for anonymity…

Now as I am writing this, I am preparing for a big day tomorrow. Toxic? Yeah. Like I said, its a given. Don’t even ask.

Somebody save me. I need sanctuary–I Want It Now, Pedicab

Gusto ko na lang matapos ang lahat. Period.

As this year comes to a halt, I would like to take a trip down memory lane..this one is a bit cheesy, but certainly 2007 was an unforgettable year. Let’s look back shall we?

I started off this year with a new career, that was in the academe. I thought passing the rigorous interview was the hardest, but it was just the beginning. This was something new for me, and I had to adjust. This kind of work seems demanding, but it was a good learning experience. I saw positive changes in me, like assuming responsibility and developing good work habits. I also met some "new" people, that later on, I call my friends: my colleagues and my students (of course!). Its good that somehow I developed a form of "bond"  with them. Because they are also humans, and they need love and attention! (whoo). Some few years ago I was just like them, now it seems surreal that I am now mentoring them, and helping them out deal with their academic life…

Just when you thought that having a successful professional life is one thing that made me happy, well, not really. This is also a year of mourning. Two of my closest relatives passed away…

My memories of Tita Dang would forever linger on. She taught me how to serve and care for the needy, as she did when she was still alive. She’s a doctor of medicine, you know. And unlike those who could pay for their own tuition fees, she was from a lower socio economic status. But it did not hamper her to achieve and pursue her dreams. She worked hard day in and day out, delivering neonates in a local community health center. Knowing that it would not suffice her family’s daily needs, she had dreams of flying abroad. Until she was stricken with the big "C". That time, it was disabling for the whole family. Dealing with cancer is a big family matter, and she needed our support. We were there for her all the time. I remember visiting her after work. I  even taught her that, in order to swallow effectively, she should flex her neck (or chin tuck). She appreciated that. I remember  also the first time she cried in front of me when she learned about the diagnosis.It was an endearing moment for both of us. Now this is the first time we celebrated the christmas and New Year without her…She will be truly missed.

My Lolo Ed who told me about the war stories also went ahead..(If you have time, you can read my former blog entry dedicated to him.. here also)

We’re also moving to a new house come next year. A nice welcome, and homey feeling, but I would definitely miss going home to our old house here in Binan.

I also learned to shy away from my old, impoverished habits. There is too little time to accommodate things, and the key is to PRIORITIZE. Weighing some important decisions to be made was also one of the best things I learned. I cannot be involved with too many things or occupations, because I will not be able to participate well and give out my best. So I had to stop grad school for a while, give up some days in clinic. I also gave up my "gig" days, beer drinking, smoking, and all vices. Well, all these are part of the process..and its a sign of maturity to stand up for your own and be able to make important decisions in your own life. At the end of the day, it is me who will be responsible for the consequences of my own actions, and not other people.

To all the people who became part of my year, THANK YOU! Its a sign of being assertive, to say THANK YOU, and being assertive is a healthy and appropriate social skill. I hope we will all stick with one another for the new year to come. And God bless to you!

It was such a lovely and unforgettable day…Now I am longing for it…

3am. Geez. I’ll be having my lecture at 10 am yet I am still in a rather dazed and confused state. Got to do something with my teaching-learning slides. Heck, what am I supposed to do to facilitate an easier flow of discussion? Ah, i know just what to do..

8am. Arrived early. This should be it. No more beating around the bush. I placed a great deal of time and effort on this one.

9am. Found myself chatting with Irene..with some stuffs that would put my mind at ease. But I’m still contemplating on the possible outcome. Oh God!

10am. The moment of truth. I was greeted by the class. Started out a few minutes late, some virus were detected in my USB. "Good morning Teacher John" as they gladly spoke. Things turned out the way I wanted. Then suddenly, I noticed that the proceeding slides were missing. Great! I lost my momentum..Panic mode.
"Sir check the other files.."
Oh yeah. Felt relieved. It was the other unfinished presentation that I opened. Saved!
Discussion went smoothly. Although some parts were dragging, like if you were watching a teenage flick. But it was just ok.

Lunch time. Everyone was partly exhausted. I got exhausted too..But wait, the lab sessions will push through in the afternoon. Meeting with the OT CS’s regarding some changes in the CTS protocols. Perfect! This calls for another multi-tasking scheme!

1pm-3pm. Proceed with the teaching learning modules. Pre-writing, Handwriting, Reading, Spelling , Alphabet and Number skills. Students are inquisitive and insightful. They are eager to learn, which drove me to present even more techniques than what I have prepared. It was a fun learning experience. I found myself in commune, or in other words, "in-tune" with them. There is a sense of kinship, a blend of harmony, between me and my students. I realized I have served my purpose to them. I hope they too will do the same thing in the future…

4pm. It was a quaint afternoon spent in a coffee shop. Great company. Even more private conversations. Bottom line: relaxation. Freeing my mind from the stress and anticipations brought about by this experience. But one thing I realized, if you do something, you have to put your heart in it. Otherwise, its not something that you can be happy about. And you will end up whining, complaining, and even more bitterness will come along the way…

7pm.Conversations with God. A time to reflect on the day’s toils. A time to being one with a higher spiritual being. Peace of mind at last.

10pm. A lovely way to celebrate. A hearty dinner! And more caffeine infused conversations haha!

12 am. Homebound. This day officially ends. But hey! I have more reasons to
smile and be happy about…How I wish it was still yesterday…

currently raving on moscow olympics and soft pillow kisses…recommended by ms joyce anne, my personal "indie" guru, sample their tracks on myspace…can’t wait to see them play on gigs!

Yeah, let’s MULTIPLY:
brickfields7.multiply.com
i miss going out on gigs too
hope everyone’s doin fine!